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BREAKING: Space Force is Recruiting Space Shuttle Door Gunners!

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Department of Defense revealed that the much-anticipated U. Space Force has officially started to fill their ranks. According to the memo, the recruiting effort for the controversial new military branch has been focused on attracting former enlisted military veterans for the highly anticipated space shuttle door gunner positions. One senior defense official — who definitely does not have ties to the aerospace industry — was quick to defend the need for Space Force in general and space shuttle door gunners in particular. We got space ISIS and space communists roaming around the galaxy as we speak. They could strike at any moment. Their mission is simple: scrub the database for prior-service veterans and tell them whatever they want to hear, so long as they sign up again.